G is for Generalisations
“All generalizations are false, including this one” – Mark Twain
Generalisations are one of the filters we use to make sense of the world.
Life is full of generalisations and help us learn but can also hinder us.
When learning, you understand how to add 2 + 2 at school and then generalise this concept to add 3+3, 33+33 and so on.
Similarly, imagine how it would be if every time you saw a chair you had to work out from scratch what it was for rather than just sitting on it..
It is through generalising that we build our own maps of reality, including our beliefs that can empower us or limit us.
The Problem with Generalising
But as with everything we “know” about the world, sometimes those generalisations are wrong. We take the information we have and draw broad conclusions and create a rule about the world based on one or more experiences.
For example, you may have had a difficut time getting your head around algebra at school you may then decide “I can’t do maths”.
Then with that belief, you look for evidence to prove it rather than disprove it. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and an even deeper rooted generalisation.
Identifying Generalisations
Generalisations that are created in the mind will show up through language. e.g.
- “Everyone is better than me”
- “I’ll never be able to do that”
- “I’ll always be left on the shelf”
- “Nobody ever does anything around here”
There are other generalisations that reveal a belief or value that you live by. They are a sign that something is important to you or something you believe to be true e.g.
- “I have to…do the ironing”
- “I need to…go to bed early”
- “I must… finish this report before I leave”
If you are thinking I must finish this report before I leave tonight because I promised it would be done, this demonstrates a sign of integrity.
If you are thinking I have to do the ironing because that is what a good mum does, this demonstrates what you believe a good mum does.
Challenging Generalisations
When you hear yourself or someone else say these things here is a great question to ask them.
“What would happen if you didn’t?”
I can guarantee, it will make you or the other person stop and think.
And remember if that belief is not serving you…you can change it!
The language we use is fascinating and can reveal so much. NLP can help you understand language even more.